BEING A SINGLE MUM
As I write this I am currently sat in bed exhausted! Mentally exhausted! I bet you can guess how this blog is going to go, right? Well, you guessed correctly! The summer holidays are the hardest six weeks of the year.
At the beginning it's great, it's almost a novelty. It's the last week of school, everything is starting to become laid back. The kids come home telling you how much fun they had and how much homework they don't have. You're already envisioning the long sleep in you're going to get every night and the late night movies snuggled up with the kids. It's almost like when you're pregnant and you start day-dreaming about pushing your brand new pram down the street, imagining how cute your new baby is going to look in the cute clothes you've bought. Then, reality hits you like a slap in the face with endless, sleepless nights and wanting to kill your other half (if you have one). Well, that's how the reality of the summer holidays hits you after around week three to four.
In my case, it's now week four. The novelty has definitely worn off. I can't wait to get some order back in my life. An actual routine where I get up early enough to see the milkman. Does the milkman actually still exist? I haven't seen him since my sleepless nights with a newborn Lydia five years ago, but you get my drift.
I am pretty sure the kids are feeling the same too. I tried to convince Lydia I was going to homeschool her (I was kidding of course), the poor child tried to convince me back to taking her to school, telling me how much fun school is and how much she loves playing with her friends. She actually sounded quite desperate to go back. Am I really that bad? Really?
By this point, I must sound like the most non-maternal mother of the century. The most unloving mum of the century. I promise I am not, I love my babies dearly. They are the making of me, but at the same time, I admit defeat. I think being a single mum is double the pressure and double the work. As the saying goes, though, it is double the love too. This summer has been an extra long and extra boring but the kids have been so patient.
I am a university student as well as a mum and this summer I had so much work to catch up on. As luck would have it, the one year I start year university out of my 29 years on this earth, my back decided to injure itself on me in January. I was diagnosed with a slipped disc and was laid up for most of the second semester of university. So all the work I missed I had to complete during the beginning of the summer. The poor kids didn't see the outside world for about two weeks.
Now that's all over with (thank god), I am now too poor to actually take them anywhere. Oh, student finance how I miss you. Let's be honest, having a student status equals being poor unless you have working parents or a working husband/wife (if you're older like me). The task is to now try and find cheap days out and it's not as easy as I thought it was going to be. At this point, I don't think there are any words to express how grateful I am for the existence of schools! With the mixture of buying two school uniforms, school shoes and Heidi's birthday over the summer, money is pretty much non-existent.
If you're reading this, you have children and you're considering leaving your husband, I bet I have put you off! Yes, the struggle of being a single mum is real. It is hard and I don't think it is a position any mother wants to be in, but unfortunately some are. At the same time, this struggle I am enduring now is what gives me the motivation to keep going. It is the reason I am in university. If life was easy would I have so much determination? I don't think I would. I often look back at all the struggles I have experienced through life and I am actually grateful for them. If I hadn't experienced the troubles I have, I wouldn't know what I know today and you can't buy that type of knowledge from a university.
So for now, I am going to keep going. I am going to take the hard times as a lesson and use them as motivation. I will cherish the last two weeks of the school holidays and get creative with ideas to entertain myself and the kids. I won't deny that it is tiring at times, and I would be lying if I did but as a whole, life is just bittersweet. So I will lick my lemon and bite my chocolate. Good night guys!
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